RTG

(Random Thought Generator)

Humans should have tails.

You can't tell me that this wouldn't be a big plus. Just think, what mom wouldn't kill for a prehensile tail? Got a kid in your arms and one making an ass of themselves? Grab the offensive crumb snatcher with your tail, or a quick smack up-side the head will solve the problem. Doing work around the house? While you're vacuuming you can hold the cord with your tail instead of your off hand. Need to snag that glass before in falls to the floor? You get a third shot at it after you miss it with your two hands. Fixing the drain under the sink and need to get that pipe wrench without cracking your head on the underside of the cabinet? You get the idea.

Tails would also give us even more insight into non-verbal communication. You're gonna know when that other person is hot for you. The tail don't lie! If they're pissed at you, there will be no doubt in your mind. If you're tired, draggin' tail will take on a whole new meaning. But then we would have to come up with a way to mask our tail communication. Maybe special training for CIA operatives in counter-tail interrogation techniques.

Now on to fashion, yeah you knew it was coming. Would the tail be exposed, or would we have to cover it? Tail socks? Holes in pants and skirts? Would we have to shave our tails? Tail jewlery, and piercing, and tatooing? I'm sure there would be very different tail morals in Europe versus the US. They'd have their tails hanging out without any problem or bible-thumping Victorian conservative judgements.

Sex. Yeah you knew THAT was coming too. Noone can tell me that sex wouldn't be insane with a prehensile tail... ... go ahead, come on!! --------- Told ya!
When you're in the clinch, wrapped around eachother, tell me that adding two tails entwined in that bunch of sweaty, glued together flesh wouldn't be the cat's ass.

Ok, I've only gotten through half my coffee so far this morning. Cut me some slack.

Back to the grind.